#24 Thing to do when you’re not drunk; break yourself

You’re in a unique position which you may never find yourself in ever again. Not only can you feel real pain, but you can tell the nice doctor how it really happened. Who knows, you may genuinely have slipped and fallen headlong into a vat of whipped cream and permanent marker ink which just happened to mould together into the shape of a penis ejaculating on your forehead. And you might genuinely cut your head open whilst playing an FAI sanctioned football match, at 5am, in a location you must keep secret for reasons of national security.

I’d believe you. Why wouldn’t they?


About Vague McNondescript

I want to give up alcohol, and I will, I've done it before. But what do you do instead of drinking? And in Ireland of all places! I'm starting a list, here'tis; View all posts by Vague McNondescript

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