Big News!

We’ve written a book. You can buy it here.

It’s way funnier than this bullshit, and you’ll be subsidising my re-discovery of alcoholism. Yay!


#30 thing to do when you’re not drinking; Be on Time


Landmark #30 and I think we’re getting back to what this blog is all about; boring practicalities. You simply will not make it to work, college or your dog’s funeral on time with a hangover. Much less so when you’re still twisted from the night before. Have you ever been waiting in the pub for your mates who started drinking in the flat? It’s infuriating. They never actually arrive.

Well folks, it’s been beautiful, and unless there’s a massive outpouring of love(with the genuine possibility of groupies) I think I’ll call it a day.

#29 thing to do when you’re not drunk; tell a joke at 4am that would’ve been funny at 6pm


#28 Thing to do when you’re not drinking; Christian Rock

If you’re living so clean that you could never offend anyone, it means you’ve gone too far. Now, I’m not saying you should go out and kick the next granny you see. On the contrary, start a Christian Rock Band. People will think you’re horrible, you probably will sound horrible, but you can stay nice.

Just remember to be more like this, and less like that.

#27 Thing to do when you’re not hammered; Have good sex


No whiskey dick, no problem. Added bonuses include knowing one another’s name, not falling asleep halfway through and being able to find all the ‘necessary equipment’.

#26 thing to do when you’re not drunk, but maybe everyone else is; Form a Cult!


Pass the plate bitches!

#25 Thing to do when you’re not hungover; change the lightbulbs

Well you’ve been talking about it for ages….

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